had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize