maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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