u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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