I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
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