i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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