i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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