i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
