OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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