shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
