Having a random hookup so left but love u
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
