I got chris browned last night
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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