What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize