I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
