ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
