break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
