Michael Bay diarrhea
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
