okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
