who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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