do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
