I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
