I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
