Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Me. At least after what I've been through.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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