I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize