Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
