I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
