p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
