If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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