what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
