Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
