I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize