it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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