But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
