I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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