An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize