The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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