you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
