remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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