"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
