I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
