one might say we're banned from that church
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you would pick up someone in the library
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
