White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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