Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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