if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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