i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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