Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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