No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
