Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
