CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
