I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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