...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
