that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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