it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
